Shakespeare Insult Generator

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Our website is open 24/7 for you to place your orders! Please see below for information regarding our delivery service.  

If you have any questions regarding delivery or your order status, please do contact us via email bookshop@nationaltheatre.org.uk or phone +44 (0)20 7452 3456 and a member of our team will be in touch shortly.  

Delivery times  

Standard 

We ship out our items using Royal Mail Standard Delivery. We aim to ship your item within two working days. You will receive email confirmation once your order has shipped.  

Our standard delivery times vary slightly according to the delivery destination. For items which we have in stock at the shop, we aim to deliver within: 

UK – 2–5 working days 

Europe – 5–7 working days 

Rest of the world – 10–14 working days 

Please note, if your order contains print-on-demand prints, certain clothing items or specialist books, these will be dispatched separately to the rest of your order. This means that you will receive your order in multiple deliveries and not all items at once. Where this is the case, our team will be in contact with you to update you on when certain items have shipped. If in doubt, please contact us to check the status of your order. 

Print on demand 

We are delighted to be able to offer customisable print-on-demand items in collaboration with King and McGaw. Each print is made by hand in the UK, which does mean these take a little longer to prepare.  

King and McGaw will dispatch your custom print directly to you from their studio in Sussex. It can take up to four weeks for prints to be created and sent. You will receive a shipping notification via email, when your print has been dispatched.  

If you have ordered other items, which are not printed on demand, these will be shipped separately by our team at the bookshop and standard delivery times apply.  

 

Delivery costs 

We are pleased to offer our customers free standard delivery for UK orders over £100. This offer does not include print-on-demand prints. Below is the breakdown of our shipping costs per country and order value.  

UK 

Below £50: £4.95 

£50–£100: £2.95 

£100+: FREE 

Europe  
Below £50: £12 

Over £50: £25 

Rest of the World  
Below £50: £15 

Over £50: £30 

Order tracking 

We send international orders tracked. If you have placed an international order, you will receive a tracking number in your shipping dispatch email. If you cannot see your tracking number, please contact us for this.  

For UK orders, we offer the option of an upgraded special delivery service at checkout for £11.95. This allows UK orders to be sent via Royal Mail Special Delivery and a tracking number will be supplied to customers using this delivery option. 

Print on demand  

Our print on demand items are excluded from our free shipping offer. You can see the shipping cost breakdown below.  

Unframed prints (per order):  

UK: £7 

Europe: £15  

Rest of the world: dependent on destination 

Framed prints and canvas (per item):  

UK: £12 

Europe: £15 

Rest of the world: dependent on destination 

 

Exceptional delivery charges 

Please note, we reserve the right to vary postage charges as necessary on items that are unusually high in weight, volume or value. We will contact customers to agree the required rate prior to shipping.  

Overseas deliveries 

There may be local duty and/or taxes payable on goods delivered outside the UK. National Theatre Enterprises is not responsible for paying these charges. 

Part deliveries 

If you have ordered more than one item, there is a chance that we will ship out your items to you in separate parcels. Our team will contact you to let you know. 

Order status 

To view your order status, simply log in to ‘Your Account’ and select ‘Track Packages’. All your orders can be found here, alongside their dispatch and delivery status.  

If your order is yet to be dispatched, you should be able to amend your shipping address and certain order details, without having to contact us. You can do this via ‘Your Account’. However, if you would like to check if it is possible to update your order, please do contact us as we are happy to help.  

Details

by Barry Kraft

This entertaining insult generator takes inspiration from the English language's greatest wordsmith, collecting hundreds of the bards most powerfully insulting words in a fun, flip book format. Just add 'thou' before any of the 157,464 different insult combinations and you'll be ready to set dullards and miscreants in their place. From 'apish bald-pated abomination' to 'cuckoldly dull-brained blockhead' to 'obscene rump-fed hornbeast,' each insult can be chosen at random or customised to fit any situation in which a literary smack down is needed. Featuring an informative introduction on Shakespearean wit and notes on which terms are nonce words (words Shakespeare only used once in all of his writings) and terms that were likely coined by Shakespeare himself, this collection is sure to sharpen the tongue and wit of any student of the bard or insult aficionado.

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